Vol. 6 – Still No Advances For Police As Serial Killer Claims Seventh Victim

By Ryan Gaston

Police investigation remains in a deadlock today as another murder victim has been discovered following the same pattern of six previous homicides by an assailant who has come to be known around law enforcement circles as “The Looney Tunes Killer.”

Police were successfully able link the murders together, after initially believing them all to be unrelated, upon finding the remains of Byron Hendricks, the fourth victim. Hendricks, a member of a touring group of Civil War re-enactors had been found crushed to death by an anvil that had fallen on his head. The incident was first dismissed as a freak accident, the coroner even going as far to say that Hendricks was simply “a victim of circumstance.”

However, detectives began noticing similarities between Hendricks and three previously unsolved deaths, and quickly came to realize that these occurrences did not happen by chance, but were in fact enacted by a felon who remains at large. The first, and by far most gruesome, murder was that of Roger O’Hare, who had been shot in the face, and had his jaw surgically removed, and reattached on the back of his head, in a similar fashion to Daffy Duck.

Initially thought to be the actions of a possibly psychotic plastic surgeon, police did not make a connection with the death of O’Hare and the deaths of James and Rebecca Simpson, who died in a car crash when the unknowingly drove their Toyota Prius into a wall that had been painted to look like a street going beneath a bridge. It was not until Hendricks’ unfortunate encounter with the anvil that police were able to clearly see a recurring theme in the deaths.

Since the death of Hendricks, which helped ignite the case into a pull blown police investigation, four more victims have been discovered whose deaths have followed The Looney Tunes Killer’s formula.

Oliver Davies’ body was found with evidence that he had been deceived into eating a stick of dynamite disguised as a hot dog, and Terry Mueller met an untimely demise when he lit up a cigar only to find the fillings were replaced with gun powder. Paul Banner, the seventh, and most recent victim, was simply thrown from the roof of a twelve-story building dressed as a coyote.

“He’s just messing with us now,” says lead detective on the Looney Tune Killer case, Shaun Riley. “This latest murder is just him rubbing it in our faces that we’re nowhere close to catching this guy.”

While police tell us they’ve been paying special attention to sales of dynamite, anvils, and rocket-powered skates, they admit that due to extensive catalogue of Looney Tunes cartoons going back for decades, that there is no way to guess his next attack.

Detective Riley goes on to tell us that if the Looney Tunes Killer has in his possession a black hole that can be relocated at will to lay across streets and sidewalks, that he could also be responsible for a number of unsolved missing persons cases as well.

The investigation remains on-going at this point, but one can only hope this demented, albeit comical, killer is brought to justice soon.

“Although we don’t condone his actions,” Riley tells us, “it is somewhat refreshing to have a serial killer with a sense of humor for a change. Remembering all those old cartoons that we watched as kids, trying to determine what his next move is going to be, has made this the most nostalgic investigation I’ve ever had the pleasure of working on.”

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