Vol. 1 – Local Hero Goes Out In Blaze Of Irony

By Ryan Gaston

Monday evening in a fateful attempt to follow the old creed of “Do something new every day,” as well as Eleanor Roosevelt’s infamous quote “Do something every day that scares you,” Ryan Gaston attempted to light an extinguished pilot light on the water heater in his Oklahoma City home, a chore he was attempting for the first time in his life. The end result was not pleasant. The water heater was burned beyond recognition and will likely have to be replaced, along with major repairs needed to the small room attached to the back of the house where Gaston lived, where the water heater was housed, which sustained significant burns before fire trucks arrived on the scene to extinguish the flames. Also, Gaston was killed.

Though he had never officially set up his wishes for what he wanted done with his body in the event of an untimely death, on more than one occasion he had been known to say that he had no desire to be cremated; however, given the extent of the burns his body has already received, funeral directors are suggesting to the parents that they just finish the job that Gaston himself had already started. Those who were close to Gaston say that this is just the kind of irony that he would have loved. “Wherever he is now,” says roommate, and best friend, Scott Michael, “he’s really getting a good laugh about this.” Co-worker Raquel Carrington added, “He always made jokes about how he was worried about getting fired, but I doubt he ever had this in mind.”

“If there is one regret he might have about his death, aside from the fact that it happened,” adds roommate, Michael, “it would probably be that he went out in a way so closely resembling the plot of a Michael Bay movie.” When asked how he planned to cope with the loss of his roommate and long-time friend, Michael said “I’ll probably have to move out of the house. You know? It would just be too hard living here without him. I mean, there is just no way that I could make the rent every month.” Scott Michael went on to say that he and his band, award-winning local music group, Hush Hush Commotion, will play a benefit show to help raise awareness about water heaters, and the threat they pose to society.
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